Why are College Men and Women Having Sex?

A recent survey conducted by researchers from the University of Texas questioned college aged students about their motivations for having sex. The top five responses men gave were:

1. I was attracted to the person.
2. It feels good.
3. I wanted to experience physical pleasure.
4. Its fun.
5. I wanted to show my affection to the person.

The top five responses given by women were:

1. I was attracted to the person.
2. I wanted to experience physical pleasure.
3. It feels good.
4. I wanted to show my affection to the person.
5. I wanted to express my love for the person.

The answers given by both men and women are not all that surprising given the shape our society is in and given our society's perversion of almost everything sexual. Perhaps the only surprising aspect of this study is the answers given by women, which seem to refute the commonly held notions that men are generally seeking self-pleasure and women are seeking love. The survey suggests that both men and women are primarily seeking to satisfy their personal physical desires.

The top four reasons for men and the top three for women were self-serving motivations.

Intimacy with the sexual partner was rated at 12 for women and 14 for men.

Not surprising though was how far down on the list that pregnancy was listed as the motivation, given that the overwhelming number of those surveyed were sexually active single men and women who were in college.

Perhaps what was most interesting for me were the statistics regarding the number of men and women (average age 19) who testified to having a history of sexual intercourse. Less than half of the men surveyed had in their past participated in sexual intercourse (233 out of 503). 110 of the men surveyed affirmed sexual activity, but had not gone so far as sexual intercourse.

More than half of the women surveyed had experienced sexual intercourse (664 out of 1046). 246 of the women surveyed had in their past been involved in various sexual activities but had not had sexual intercourse.

I was surprised by how much more sexually active the women were as opposed to the men in this survey. In all of those surveyed, 88 percent had gone as far in their sexual experience to participate in oral sex.

Now here is the most depressing stat: 65 percent of those surveyed reported themselves to be Christians. With the amount of information given, it is impossible to determine if the Christian men and women surveyed were more or less likely to have participated in sexual activity outside of marriage, but with the high percentages (88%) of those who had at least gone as far as oral sex, it seems likely that many of the Christians surveyed fall into this percentage.

Family Issues

"In November 2005, the Internet strategies department of LifeWay, an entity of the Southern Baptist Convention, began soliciting participation in an online research project, the 'Top 10 Issues Facing Today’s Family.'" In order the top 10 issues facing American families found in the study are:

1. Anti-Christian culture
2. Divorce
3. Busyness
4. Absent father figure
5. Lack of discipline
6. Financial pressures
7. Lack of communication
8. Negative media influences
9. Balance of work and family
10. Materialism

I will only address what I think are three major problems for families in America. One can debate whether these are the top three, although I think we would all agree as Christians that point one is the major problem for non-Christian families.

1. No saving knowledge of Jesus Christ
In my estimation the #1 problem facing American families is the #1 issue facing the human race. It is the total depravity of the person. By in large American families are not Christian families. Therefore, the needed sanctification of the Holy Spirit to overcome sinful temptations is not present with the overwhelming number of families. So the remaining problems facing American families all stem from their lack of forgiveness in Jesus Christ and indwelling Holy Spirit who conforms our desires to God's and not to the desires of the flesh.

2. Individualism
Satan told Adam and Eve that if they ate fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil they would become like God. Ever since this episode of disobedience, commonly called 'the fall,' men, women, and children have desired to be like God. This desire expresses itself negatively in our rabid pursuit of individualism. Many of the original issues which are listed in this article really come from the desire to fulfill self at all costs.

Divorce is the result of one or both spouses desiring to be fulfilled first rather than seeking first to please each other.

The absent father syndrome is often the product of self-centeredness. The male figure desires the pleasures of sex, but when a baby comes into the picture, he knows this will severely limit the time he has for himself, so he leaves.

Lack of discipline can also be caused by a preoccupation with oneself. Discipline is hard and it takes oversight, repetition, and time. So many parents pass over discipline altogether after a few attempts.

Financial pressures may be the result of individualism when a family has all it needs yet one or both spouses choose to work longer at the expense of the family to get more, which relates this issue with materialism.

Lack of communication often is the result of individualism because we only want to talk after all our other desires have been satisfied.

A balance between work and family can also be an issue related to self-interests when one or both spouses choose to spend time on their hobbies rather than being with their families.

3. Biblical Ignorance
This category is more for Christian families, but we can all see this issue effecting non-Christians as well. Biblical ignorance can be the result of many things. It is always, for the Christian, an issue of priority. Christians often task their lives so that personal Bible reading and reflection are activities which only occur if everything else is finished, when it really should be a "first priority' of the day along with prayer. I am not saying it has to be accomplished first thing in the morning, because if you do it at night, what you have reflected over should be with you in the morning and will be helpful.

All of the "Top 10" issues will influence us more dramatically if our knowledge of Scripture is minimal. And our lust after materialistic things and the pursuit of self-fulfillment through individualism come because we wrongly think they can satisfy, but only the work of the Triune God can fulfill completely the yearnings of the soul.